Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My countdown reads 23 hours and 43 minutes left to live.
I will live as mindfully, authentically, and as fully as I am able over these last hours....
This practice has been instructive, insightful, challenging... and life-changing.
I don't view the world through quite the same eyes that I did when I embarked upon this practice.
I am not sure what I expected it to be... but, the reality was much different than what I *thought* I was getting involved in.
The practice was much more *real* than I expected it to be.
At first, the countdown unnerved me... now, it is only a countdown... we all have one.. in our heartbeat... our breaths... each step that we take... each moment. This one simply has numbers attached to it.
Of all of the various emotions that I feel as this year comes to a close... as my life of the past 50 years ends.. the one I feel most strongly as I write this now is gratitude.
There is so much more than I realized... and I didnt have to DO anything to access it... other than simply to do it. It was just like this all along... the entire time... and wonder how I didnt realize it for so long when it is all so simple.
I will go to sleep now... and sleep soundly... waking up to my last day on earth in a few hours.
I have an entire day left of this practice... and I will make every second count!